At The Jacob’s Ladder Group, our mission is rooted in the Interpersonal Whole-Brain Model of Care® (IWMBC™), a holistic approach that supports each individual’s neurological, emotional, and physiological development. Every day, when a client enters our environment, our primary focus is to surround them with safety, connection, and meaningful opportunity.
One common barrier we observe is avoidance behavior, a maladaptive pattern used to manage stress, assert control, or withdraw from perceived challenges. In this post, we explore how avoidance behaviors manifest, what they signal in the brain, and how we strategically address them using the principles of the IWMBC™ to support meaningful and lasting growth.
What Are Avoidance Behaviors?
Avoidance behaviors are strategies individuals use to escape or resist non-preferred tasks, social interactions, or demands—especially those imposed by authority figures. These behaviors can stem from:
- Performance-based anxiety or fear
- A desire for control
- Sensory sensitivities
- Low motivation or frustration with perceived difficulty
They may show up as:
- Tantrums, manipulation, or aggression
- Withdrawal, shutdown, or refusal
- Subtle patterns, like frequent bathroom breaks during challenging activities
While they may seem like defiance or disinterest, these responses are often rooted in how the brain has learned to cope with stress. When avoidance leads to a removed demand or altered expectation, the brain reinforces those reactive pathways, making it increasingly difficult over time to navigate daily expectations, such as schoolwork, self-care, or social engagement.
Strategies for Addressing Avoidance Behaviors
Although it can be tempting to “move the train tracks” to avoid conflict, doing so repeatedly can derail progress. Children and individuals struggling with avoidance behaviors don’t need less structure; they need clear, consistent, and loving boundaries that show them they are safe, even when challenged.
The IWMBC™ helps us identify the root causes of these behaviors and implement relational and neurodevelopmental strategies that foster new, healthier brain patterns. Below are a few approaches we’ve found most effective:
- Modifying Expectations
- Rather than removing all demands to avoid conflict, we focus on meeting individuals where they are while maintaining consistent expectations. This helps build trust and reinforce that their environment, and the people in it, are safe and dependable. Within this approach, we do not allow the individual to dictate the day, have excessive choice, or choose when we intervene or do not intervene. This can be confusing for individuals, potentially leading to increased control-seeking, manipulation, and aggression, as they struggle to understand why they can act one moment and then be redirected the next. Over time, we increase our expectations while ensuring that the individual completes the task or directive- this process is called closing the loop.
- Offering Choice Within Boundaries
- Offering structured choices throughout the day enables individuals to experience a sense of autonomy without feeling overwhelmed. It also increases engagement and reduces power struggles.
- Utilizing Visual Schedules
- Visual supports and consistent schedules help reduce uncertainty and increase cooperation. The key is to maintain structure while allowing for some flexibility.
- Using Motivational Materials
- Incorporating preferred materials, such as favorite books, activities, or music, into less-preferred tasks can encourage participation and foster positive associations.
- Setting Consistent Expectations for Communication
- Understanding behavior is a function of communication; we can model and encourage functional communication, helping individuals express their wants and needs more effectively rather than relying on avoidance-based behaviors.
Avoidance behaviors often signal a need for safety, clarity, and connection. While removing expectations may feel easier in the moment, doing so repeatedly can reinforce patterns that lead to greater dysregulation over time. Through consistency, structure, and understanding the function of avoidance behaviors, we help individuals move toward healthier coping strategies, laying the groundwork for lasting change and meaningful growth.
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Interested in diving deeper into topics like this or learning formally about our methodology and approach? Check out our professional training opportunities. We also offer caregiver training in the IWBMC™!
